Why do I worry so much about what people think of me?
You live every second of your own moment, so it feels like everyone saw it. Most people are busy with theirs. The worry gets louder if you often wonder where you stand with people, or feel things strongly.
What it can look like
Sure it came out wrong. A short reply feels like a verdict.
Rereading a message before you send it, then checking for a reply. If that’s you, lots of people do it too.
What research found
People in an embarrassing T-shirt guessed 46% of the room could name who was on it. Only 23% could.
Gilovich, Medvec & Savitsky (2000), Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
After talking with someone new, people tend to underestimate how much the other person liked them.
Boothby, Cooney, Sandstrom & Clark (2018), Psychological Science
What it’s linked to
The quiz measures these. A higher score on them can make this moment louder.
- Worry about closeness
How much you worry about where you stand with people.
- Sensitivity
How strongly your mood moves with what happens around you.
Try this
When a reply feels cold, list two other reasons it could be short.
Where do you sit?
Your free reading shows where you sit on Worry about closeness and Sensitivity, the things linked to this. It all comes from your own answers.
Free · 29 questions · no sign-up
Types it often shows up in
It happens to almost everyone. In these types’ pages, it comes up as part of how they work.
This page is for noticing, not a diagnosis. If it feels like too much right now, here are people you can talk to.